But You Promised Me A Shower
“FALL IN!”I called out, and thirty pairs of boots snapped together.
“Listen up, today’s duties are posted on the board, it’s your responsibility to read it and fulfill your assignments. Any questions?”
Private Jimmie Smith raised his hand, “Sergeant, I haven’t had a shower in the seven days we’ve been here. You keep promising me a shower when are you going to let me go?”
I glanced at my clipboard and looked up. “If I call your name get your shower gear and get in HQ-4, for those of you who don’t know that’s the pick-up with the camouflaged cover.” Then I started to read off the names:
“Private Smith, Sergeant Johanson, Corporal Ericsson, Private First Class Pagan, Staff Sergeant Morgan, and Sergeant Anderson, the truck leaves in five minutes. Specialist Miller you’re my driver, you had a shower yesterday so don’t even bring your gear. Dismissed.”
Fifteen minutes later we were two miles down the road, we turned a corner to find a barricade blocking our access to the shower point. A Specialist moved from the tree he was leaning on and walked over to my side of the truck.
“Sorry Sergeant you have to turn around, you can’t pass.”
I shook my head, “All I want to do is get to the shower point that’s a half-mile from here, if you look carefully you can see the tip of the tent from here.”
“Sorry Sergeant, artillery’s firing,”he paused as a round went over head, the road’s closed until 1300.”
From the back of the truck, I heard Private Smith start to whimper, “But, that Sergeant promised me a shower, it’s been seven days, I stink.”
I looked at Miller and shook my head; he smiled and glanced back through the window at the cargo bed. I opened my door, walked to the rear and pulled the cover up. Private Smith looked at me with tears in his eyes, “y, you, promised me a shower two days ago, everyone else’s had one, some have had two and I haven’t. IT’S NOT FAIR SERGEANT!”
“Son, shut up! Have I brought you back without a shower?” I didn’t wait for an answer, I just closed the cover and went to the front of the truck. “Miller, turn around, go back a half-mile I have an idea.”
“Okay Sarge, I like your ideas let’s go.” He turned the truck around, ten minutes later we were moving along a dirt road.
“Okay, Miller, pull off here, pull in far enough so we can’t be seen from the road. Let’s park under that tree that should do it.”
Smith was the first one out of the truck; he stood under the tree and looked around in confusion as everyone else jumped off the tailgate and grabbed their gear. As they headed toward the flowing river, I called out: “Johanson, take from that rock to the tree. Ericsson, take from his tree to that sandy spot. Pagan, take from that sandy spot to the first sapling by the bend in the river. Morgan, take the far side of the wide spot by those small rocks. Anderson, take from the small rocks to the big boulder. I’ll take from the big boulder to the bumper of the truck. Smith you take from the bumper of the truck.”
Smith just stood there and shook his head. “Sergeant I knew I couldn’t trust you, you promised me a shower and now I’m not going to get one. I want my shower!”
“Smith, I can’t get you a shower, I can get you clean, just get in the water and take a bath in the river.”
“I can’t do that, I don’t know how.”
“It’s easy, look at Staff Sergeant Morgan, he took his clothes off, he’s wading into the water, and he’s getting himself all wet.”
“B, B, But Sergeant the water’s cold, I can’t get in the water.”
“Look Smith, I’ve had it with you and your sniveling. Either you get in the water, take a bath or I take you back dirty. If you don’t I can’t guarantee that it won’t be another week before you get to a shower.”
Smith slowly took his gear and walked to his assigned spot on the riverbed. He slowly took his clothes off and hung them on a tree so they wouldn’t get wrinkled.
Twenty minutes later, I’d finished my bath and sat on the tailgate putting my socks on when Smith came up.
“Boy Sarge that was the best shower I never had.
“Listen up, today’s duties are posted on the board, it’s your responsibility to read it and fulfill your assignments. Any questions?”
Private Jimmie Smith raised his hand, “Sergeant, I haven’t had a shower in the seven days we’ve been here. You keep promising me a shower when are you going to let me go?”
I glanced at my clipboard and looked up. “If I call your name get your shower gear and get in HQ-4, for those of you who don’t know that’s the pick-up with the camouflaged cover.” Then I started to read off the names:
“Private Smith, Sergeant Johanson, Corporal Ericsson, Private First Class Pagan, Staff Sergeant Morgan, and Sergeant Anderson, the truck leaves in five minutes. Specialist Miller you’re my driver, you had a shower yesterday so don’t even bring your gear. Dismissed.”
Fifteen minutes later we were two miles down the road, we turned a corner to find a barricade blocking our access to the shower point. A Specialist moved from the tree he was leaning on and walked over to my side of the truck.
“Sorry Sergeant you have to turn around, you can’t pass.”
I shook my head, “All I want to do is get to the shower point that’s a half-mile from here, if you look carefully you can see the tip of the tent from here.”
“Sorry Sergeant, artillery’s firing,”he paused as a round went over head, the road’s closed until 1300.”
From the back of the truck, I heard Private Smith start to whimper, “But, that Sergeant promised me a shower, it’s been seven days, I stink.”
I looked at Miller and shook my head; he smiled and glanced back through the window at the cargo bed. I opened my door, walked to the rear and pulled the cover up. Private Smith looked at me with tears in his eyes, “y, you, promised me a shower two days ago, everyone else’s had one, some have had two and I haven’t. IT’S NOT FAIR SERGEANT!”
“Son, shut up! Have I brought you back without a shower?” I didn’t wait for an answer, I just closed the cover and went to the front of the truck. “Miller, turn around, go back a half-mile I have an idea.”
“Okay Sarge, I like your ideas let’s go.” He turned the truck around, ten minutes later we were moving along a dirt road.
“Okay, Miller, pull off here, pull in far enough so we can’t be seen from the road. Let’s park under that tree that should do it.”
Smith was the first one out of the truck; he stood under the tree and looked around in confusion as everyone else jumped off the tailgate and grabbed their gear. As they headed toward the flowing river, I called out: “Johanson, take from that rock to the tree. Ericsson, take from his tree to that sandy spot. Pagan, take from that sandy spot to the first sapling by the bend in the river. Morgan, take the far side of the wide spot by those small rocks. Anderson, take from the small rocks to the big boulder. I’ll take from the big boulder to the bumper of the truck. Smith you take from the bumper of the truck.”
Smith just stood there and shook his head. “Sergeant I knew I couldn’t trust you, you promised me a shower and now I’m not going to get one. I want my shower!”
“Smith, I can’t get you a shower, I can get you clean, just get in the water and take a bath in the river.”
“I can’t do that, I don’t know how.”
“It’s easy, look at Staff Sergeant Morgan, he took his clothes off, he’s wading into the water, and he’s getting himself all wet.”
“B, B, But Sergeant the water’s cold, I can’t get in the water.”
“Look Smith, I’ve had it with you and your sniveling. Either you get in the water, take a bath or I take you back dirty. If you don’t I can’t guarantee that it won’t be another week before you get to a shower.”
Smith slowly took his gear and walked to his assigned spot on the riverbed. He slowly took his clothes off and hung them on a tree so they wouldn’t get wrinkled.
Twenty minutes later, I’d finished my bath and sat on the tailgate putting my socks on when Smith came up.
“Boy Sarge that was the best shower I never had.